"WENDI! Conditional love is unhealthy! Conditional love is BAD. I LOVE my generic boyfriend no matter what he does/wants to do/aspires to be!!" Go ahead. Throw it at me. You love your girlfriend/ boyfriend/ aunt/ puppy/ second cousin once removed/ pet velociraptor absolutely 100%. No MATTER WHAT he/she does. You love this other person/dinosaur UNconditinoally..... False.
"You can't tell me how I love my velociraptor!" You're right. I can't. But I can tell you that you don't love that velociraptor unconditionally.
I used to believe in unconditional love too. But then I was having a chit chat with a hopelessly adorable theatre freshman boy. And he said to me that unconditional love is BS. At first I said, "WHAT? Nooooo...." But then he kept talking, and I kept thinking: he's right! And now I'm blogging about his idea, because... well because he isn't going to. Somebody's gotta do it.
So you have this pet velociraptor. And every day, you just love it more, despite it's quirky little growly shenanigans. That's great! But when that velociraptor eats your shin off, you aren't going to love it anymore. ARE you? That, my friend is conditional love.
Let me try for something that hits a little closer to home (since, I don't really know anyone with a pet velociraptor...). You absolutely adore your girlfriend. She is absolutely perfect in absolutely every way. Even her annoying little imperfect quirks just make you love her more. Awesome. Now let's say, she cheats on you. Not once. Not twice. But she has been engaged in an on going love affair with a velociraptor. You are hurt. You are crushed. And you know you can't work things out. So you know you have to move on and stop loving her, and love someone better. Guess what? That's conditional love.
So I've broached the pretty negative side of this argument. Let me get a little cheerier. Imagine a person or a velociraptor that you love more than anything in the entire world. Why? Why do you love that person. I can already hear the gears in your head turning: "The way her little green scales glisten in the sunlight. The cute way she devours the raw meat I toss her. The way she lays her scaley little head in my lap when she's sleepy. The way she looks at me just after she's killed the pig she's about to eat." BAM! Conditions.
When you meet a person, you want to get to know them better because of A, B, and C. When you get to know them better, you may decide you want to take them out because of D, E, and F. When you go out with them, you decide to go out again because of G, H, and I. And then by X, Y, and Z, you could very well be in love with that person. You love the people you love because they meet your expectations. You love the person you love because of certain traits they have. You love that person because of those conditions.
Nobody loves anyone for no reason. That doesn't even make sense.
"But Wendi, the guy I love wants to be a fireman. I wouldn't love him any less if he wanted to be an underwater basket weaver." Well, then your love's career choice is clearly not one of your conditions. But if he decided instead of being a fireman that he wanted to be a prostitute, you might change your mind.
Argue with me if you must.
But we love each other with conditions.
Some of us may have fewer or more conditions.
But nobody loves someone else for no reason.
If there is love without reason,
then there is sun without light.
Fact.
CHEW ON THAT!
And... what do you want to read next? :)
