My second year at Camp Swampy was an interesting one to say the very least. I discovered a new friend, who is now one of my best. I had my heart broken. I recovered. I fell in love and became very best friends with an oddball engineer with too much hair. I got to play a small part in an original script. We got to take the show to Oklahoma. I grew tremendously as an actor. I played a supporting role in a student directed play. I have learned so much in the past ten months. I have learned things about myself, about the dangers of capitalism (thank YOU, Zachary), about theatre, and about people.
I have a knack for giving an ear. Sometimes that's all I do. I can't tell you how often I have done nothing but listen to people. They don't even always ask for my advice- which is probably best on their part, considering I give advice based on what I would do, and my actions tend to be hasty, loud, and usual perceived as "crazy"... People like to talk relationships to me. They like to tell me about their break ups, the people they're chasing, or about a problem they're having in a relationship.
And the advice that I tend to give (or "would give" if they asked for it), no matter what relationship issues this person is having, boils down to one thing. I ask them, "Do you love Sir Gimbletrot? Do you want to be with Sir Gimbletrot?" The answer is almost always yes. Yes she does love him. Yes she does want to be with him. Then I tell her to fight. "Fight for Sir Gimbletrot with all that you have." "He doesn't pay enough attention to me! WAGH," she says. "Tell him that. Fight for him." "He slept with another girl at a party. Just the once." "Make him earn your trust back. But don't make it impossible. Fight for him." "He broke up with me. And I don't understand why." "Make him make you understand. Make him understand that you aren't ready to give up, and fight. Fight for him."
"But Wendi, won't that make him think I'm crazy? If I nag, or if I don't leave him alone and let him have his space?" If he really loved you, he wouldn't see your fighting for him as crazy. If he really loves (or loved) you, he would understand that you feel like you have to do everything you can to keep him because you're just that crazy about him.
However. There comes a time when enough is enough. There comes a time when you can't fight anymore. There comes a time when you shouldn't fight anymore. There comes a time for you to let go. When you have asked for his attention outright and he still won't give it, when he makes hooking up with random girls a habit, when he asks you to let go, it's time. Different situations call for different times to let go. "But Wendi, how do I know when?" How the hell should I know?? Every situation is different. Everyone has a breaking point. You know yours. You know his. You quit before you get there, otherwise, you may never recover.
There comes a time when you have to give up fighting. Even if you only fought a little. There will come a time when your gut will say, "I did everything I could. It's time for me to bow out." or "There is nothing I can do to fix what I need to be fixed." And you should never ignore that feeling. There comes a time when you run out of energy to fight for Sir Gimbletrot. There comes a time when you run out of ammunition to fight for Sir Gimbletrot. Or there comes a time when you run out of reasons to fight for Sir Gimbletrot. And guess what? That. Is. Oh. Kay.
Letting go sucks. God knows I have had a ridiculously rough time letting go. But you know what? I fought with all my heart and soul. I let go. And I fell in love later with someone new. And now, if the time comes, I have all the energy, ammunition, and reasons I need to start the next World War for that man. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
I can't always tell you when it's time to raise your white flag, and step out of a futile fight. But I bet you can. I bet your gut will let you know when it's time to throw in the towel. And your gut is usually right. Fight. It might get you exactly what you need. And it might wear you the hell out and get you nowhere. But I promise that you'll feel better knowing that you gave it your all. That leaves far less room for "what might have been."
THAT'S WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY.
Also it's 1:30 A.M...
Also It's been a LOOOOONG semester.
WHAT DO YOU WANNA READ NEXT?
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