I LOVE WHAT YOU LOVE... But Not Really...

     As a couple, it is expected that the two of you should do things together. It is important to try new things together. Go see a band that neither of you have never heard of do a show. Go get certified to scuba dive together. Go take a class in underwater basket weaving. Really, the activity doesn't matter. But an adventure into new things can be great when the two of you have absolutely nothing better to do.

     Sometimes, you don't even have to stretch that far. Sometimes it is okay to go try something that one of you has done and knows a lot about, but the other of you has never done before in your life. Let your girlfriend take you to her Yoga Class. Let your boyfriend teach you how to shoot a gun. (Okay. I'm falling into gender stereotypes...) Let your girlfriend show you how to take apart and put back together an engine to a car. Let your boyfriend teach you his favorite cookie recipe. (TAKE THAT, you anti-gender-rolers!) Show each other what you're into.

     It is important to be open minded when your boyfriend says "I really want to make gingersnaps. And I have this AWESOME recipe. Won't you come bake them with me?" You shouldn't say "Ugh. Baking? No thanks." You should say, "That sounds great!" and be enthusiastic to try it. What have you got to lose? It is also acceptable to say "I'd rather not bake cookies with you. The last time I baked cookies was with my Aunt Lisa. When she opened the oven, a bear jumped out and mauled her to death right in front of me. Every time I get near cookie dough, I think BEAR, and I pee my pants." That is okay too... so long as your story is true. Be open minded.

     Now lets say that you openmindedly agreed to bake cookies. And lets say that you just had a god-awful time. The precise measuring... the egg breaking... the work... the bear in the oven... it was all just too much. You felt overwhelmed and sweaty, and you legitimately did not enjoy yourself. That is okay too. Now you know that you do not enjoy baking cookies like your partner does. That is fine too.

     This is what you should not do: Continue baking cookies. "Well, I hated baking cookies with my boyfriend. But he really likes making cookies. I will force myself to make cookies with him because it will make him happy." So you go in the kitchen, you have a sour attitude. You have an awful time again. Your sour attitude rubs off on your boyfriend. And everyone is unhappy. OR If your aunt WAS mauled by a bear while baking cookies with you, and your boyfriend asks you if you want to bake cookies, you should not think, "Well. I know when that oven opens, I will pee my pants. I will fear that a bear is going to attack me, I will assume the fetal position and cry. BUT. He likes baking cookies. I MUST FORCE MYSELF TO BAKE COOKIES WITH MY BOYFRIEND EVEN THOUGH IT CAUSES ME EMOTIONAL TRAUMA. And he will love me." No. No that is not what you should think. Because then... you will pee on yourself from fear of a bear attack.

     Although my example is silly, it is applicable to any interest or activity. If you have never tried it, why not, especially if your partner is extremely passionate about it? And if you know that you are just flat not interested in whatever it is that your partner is interested in, tell them. Because forcing yourself to do something you don't like, just to make your partner happy, won't make you OR your partner happy.

     And if your partner is not interested in your cookie baking, that doesn't mean you should stop. A relationship involves teamwork. But you should never lose site of yourself and what you love in order to please your partner.

     Share interests. Have your own interests. Don't be closed minded about new things. Don't fake anything. Ever. Enjoy each others' company. THE END!

PS: I paragraphed this time. I figure the great wall of text is overwhelming. :)
ALSO: What do you want to read about next?
I find that I am often ridden with writer's block. POUT.
Prompts are wonderful. :)

Lies that Nicholas Sparks Told Me.

First, let me start off by saying that I LOVE Nicholas Sparks. I have read every book he's published (except his newest one. BUT I have it on my iPad and intend to read it soon.) Yes, his stories are a tad repetitive. Yes, the movies are starting to get more hype than they might deserve. But, ever since I read my first Sparks book when I was 13, his stories of a love that is so absolute and pure has inspired me to never settle for anything less than I deserve. But there is one recurring theme in a handful of his books that hasn't sat quite right with me since I've gotten older. True love never fades. True love never dies. To be really truly in love means to never truly let go. FALSE! And Nicky isn't the only one that likes to sport that idea. Movies, songs, and other authors like this idea too. Although it is a nice sentiment, it is completely untrue. Sometimes, people can be in true, real, stupid love. And sometimes, it is requited 100%. And sometimes, those people have to learn to take their heart back, put it back in their own chest, and eventually, hopefully, give it to someone else some day. I hate how a person can look at another with such stars in their eyes, and honestly believe that they are really truly in love one day, and after time, for whatever reason think, "God... what was I thinking? Those feelings I had must have been indigestion or something. Those feelings were not legitimate. That was not true love." And now, because its over, they completely devalue everything that it was before it was over. I think that might be a defence mechanism. Or maybe people are afraid to show their vulnerability. "If it was true love, it wouldn't be over," some may argue. But I can tell you from first hand experience... that. is. not. true. I have learned that no matter how much you may be in love, no matter how much the two of you had planned, no matter what the two of you have already shared, no matter how much you fight for the one you love, sometimes, you have to let go. Believe me, I know how much easier that is said than done. Letting go is one of the absolute hardest things that we has humans have to do sometimes. But when you let go, when you move on, I beg you not to deny those stars you once had in your eyes. That guy may have been a complete and total tool that wouldn't give you the time of day. But don't deny those imaginary conversations you wanted to have with him. Don't deny the woozy feeling in your stomach that he gave you when he looked at you the right way. He may not have deserved those feelings, but they were there. You had your heart set on marrying that girl, and for whatever reason, she backed out. You can't deny that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. Just because your heart doesn't feel it now, doesn't mean your heart was wrong in feeling it before. It's okay to fall out of love. It's okay to be hurt and angry because things didn't work out. "But I was so young when I thought I was in love with him." That doesn't make it any less real. "But I have loved since then and it was so much better." That is great. But it still doesn't devalue what you once felt for the one before. Don't turn your love for someone into hate or apathy. Let it go. And instead think of the things the person you loved taught you about yourself and what you want out of love in the future.
Also. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO READ NEX? :D