Thursday, January 19, 2012

I LOVE WHAT YOU LOVE... But Not Really...

     As a couple, it is expected that the two of you should do things together. It is important to try new things together. Go see a band that neither of you have never heard of do a show. Go get certified to scuba dive together. Go take a class in underwater basket weaving. Really, the activity doesn't matter. But an adventure into new things can be great when the two of you have absolutely nothing better to do.

     Sometimes, you don't even have to stretch that far. Sometimes it is okay to go try something that one of you has done and knows a lot about, but the other of you has never done before in your life. Let your girlfriend take you to her Yoga Class. Let your boyfriend teach you how to shoot a gun. (Okay. I'm falling into gender stereotypes...) Let your girlfriend show you how to take apart and put back together an engine to a car. Let your boyfriend teach you his favorite cookie recipe. (TAKE THAT, you anti-gender-rolers!) Show each other what you're into.

     It is important to be open minded when your boyfriend says "I really want to make gingersnaps. And I have this AWESOME recipe. Won't you come bake them with me?" You shouldn't say "Ugh. Baking? No thanks." You should say, "That sounds great!" and be enthusiastic to try it. What have you got to lose? It is also acceptable to say "I'd rather not bake cookies with you. The last time I baked cookies was with my Aunt Lisa. When she opened the oven, a bear jumped out and mauled her to death right in front of me. Every time I get near cookie dough, I think BEAR, and I pee my pants." That is okay too... so long as your story is true. Be open minded.

     Now lets say that you openmindedly agreed to bake cookies. And lets say that you just had a god-awful time. The precise measuring... the egg breaking... the work... the bear in the oven... it was all just too much. You felt overwhelmed and sweaty, and you legitimately did not enjoy yourself. That is okay too. Now you know that you do not enjoy baking cookies like your partner does. That is fine too.

     This is what you should not do: Continue baking cookies. "Well, I hated baking cookies with my boyfriend. But he really likes making cookies. I will force myself to make cookies with him because it will make him happy." So you go in the kitchen, you have a sour attitude. You have an awful time again. Your sour attitude rubs off on your boyfriend. And everyone is unhappy. OR If your aunt WAS mauled by a bear while baking cookies with you, and your boyfriend asks you if you want to bake cookies, you should not think, "Well. I know when that oven opens, I will pee my pants. I will fear that a bear is going to attack me, I will assume the fetal position and cry. BUT. He likes baking cookies. I MUST FORCE MYSELF TO BAKE COOKIES WITH MY BOYFRIEND EVEN THOUGH IT CAUSES ME EMOTIONAL TRAUMA. And he will love me." No. No that is not what you should think. Because then... you will pee on yourself from fear of a bear attack.

     Although my example is silly, it is applicable to any interest or activity. If you have never tried it, why not, especially if your partner is extremely passionate about it? And if you know that you are just flat not interested in whatever it is that your partner is interested in, tell them. Because forcing yourself to do something you don't like, just to make your partner happy, won't make you OR your partner happy.

     And if your partner is not interested in your cookie baking, that doesn't mean you should stop. A relationship involves teamwork. But you should never lose site of yourself and what you love in order to please your partner.

     Share interests. Have your own interests. Don't be closed minded about new things. Don't fake anything. Ever. Enjoy each others' company. THE END!

PS: I paragraphed this time. I figure the great wall of text is overwhelming. :)
ALSO: What do you want to read about next?
I find that I am often ridden with writer's block. POUT.
Prompts are wonderful. :)

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