Look at your friends. You have a lot in common with them, don't you? You like to do the same things. You share similar insight on different issues. But how are they different from you? Are they taller? Are they more outgoing? Are they more into their religion than you are yours? They're different from you.
Look at the people you can't stand. The girl who was mean to you for no real reason in high school. The kid that likes to "one-up" everybody in their stories. The douchebag that cheated on your best friend? But how are they like you? Do they want attention? Do they want friendship? Do they need some way to over come their insecurities?
What about the people you don't like because of their race? Their gender? Their sexuality? The way they look? "I'm not racist. I'm not sexist. And I don't care if two dudes... you know." You might say. And you're probably not lying. And yet...
White women still clutch their purses closer if a large black man is near them. Racism runs rampant in the small town I'm from... I've HEARD people say, "I can't believe we put a n***** in office." Men still like to crack jokes like, "Woman, bring me a sammich." "Why do you need a licsence? There's no highway between the bedroom and the kitchen." And gay people certaintly don't have the rights of straight people.
Not everyone is sexist. Not everyone is racist. And not everyone is homophobic. But there is still enough sexism, racism, and homophobia to give hurtles to anyone who isn't a white straight Christian man.
We are men. We are women.
We are black. We are white. We are Hispanic. We are Asian. We are Indian.
We are gay. We are Lesbain. We are bisexual. We are straight.
We are Hindu. We are Jewish. We are atheist. We are Christian. We are Muslim.
We are young. We are adults. We are elderly.
We are rich. We are poor. We are somewhere in between.
We are human.
We are so afraid of people who are different than us. We are so terrified of people who believe something other than what we do that we forget the value of human life. Yes, we are different. No, that is not a bad thing.
Remember Disney movies? Remember Hercules? He was different in that he was stronger than everybody else. Remember Tarzan? He was different because he was human in a world of gorillas. Remember The Hunchback of Notredame? He was different in the way his body was formed. Remember The Little Mermaid? She was different in that she was curious about humans instead of afraid of them. Remember Pocahontas? She was different in that she fell in love with her father's enemy. Remember Aladin? He was different in that he was poor. All of these stories teach us that we shouldn't ever be threatened by anyone who is different than us. This is a lesson that a lot of us seem to forget.
If every single person in this world could let go of being threatened by someone who looks different, who believes differently, who lives differently than they do, I think a lot of problems in this world could be fixed.
But for some reason, we as humans seem to be designed to hate. And it breaks my heart. Because at the end of the day... we are all human. Good ol' Maslow created that hierarchy of needs.. and at the end of the day, those needs are what we strive for. (If you don't know Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, please google it.) Because, we are human.
We are human.
And I swear, if I see one more status with the word "fag" in it, I am going to do some serious round house Facebook kicking.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
"Selfish," is NOT a bad word.
That awkward moment... when I planed my next blog... and my teacher started talking about the subject I was going to blog about in class... and I'm blogging about it anyway... Yep. That's happening.
THAT aside, "selfishness," is not a bad word. "BUT WENDI!" You may argue, "selfish people are bad people! Selfish people only care about themselves. Selfish people don't have anyone else in mind. Selfish people don't care! Selfish people, are mean, rude, and do everything they can to squash the little guy!" And to that argument, I say... Nope.
Guess what? I am one of the most absolute selfish people I know. Every thing I ever do, I do for me. I drink Dr Pepper when I want to. I am a Theatre major, because Theatre is what I want to do with my life. I don't live to please anyone but myself. Even this very blog. I don't write these for your entertainment! I write these because I want to share MY philosophy. I write these because I absolutely LOVE when people say, "Wendi! I read your blog! You are so insightful/awesome/funny/what have you."
"But Wendi! What about Zach? If you are a selfish creep, why does he stick around??" Zach sticks around because he likes my company. He likes what I have to say. He likes when I'm a doofus, and he thinks I'm pretty. Would he like all of those things if I were a "selfish creep?" Of course not! The other day, it was raining. I got out of class early, and I knew Zach needed to walk from the engineering building, to the theater. I borrowed Cassie's umbrella, walked in the rain to the engineering building, and I waited for him to get out of class, just so he could walk under an umbrella. Would anyone say that was a "selfish creep" thing to do? Of course not! But you know what? It was selfish. "HOW, WOMAN, HOW???" You may ask. Well, I did it for me. I wanted Zach to know that I would go out of my way to do something that nice for him. Why? Because it made ME feel like I was being an awesome girlfriend. That act made me feel good about myself. It was all for me!
The problem with the word "selfishness" is that is has a bad connotation. The denotations are not so positive either. The word means, "concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself." And all of its synonyms are negative too. These terms (selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, self-absorbed, etc.) teach us that doing things for ourselves is bad. But it isn't! The problem occurs when a person resorts to hurting other people for themselves. THAT is bad. THAT is being a creep. But I am selfish. And I don't like being associated with douchers that shit on other people to get what they want.
I hope I'm making sense. It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to do what you want for you. If you spend your entire life trying to make someone other than yourself happy, you will live to regret it. Don't let your parents' dreams for you get in the way of yours. Don't let your partner's happiness become more important than your happiness. If you have to let some people down, fine. If they really care about you, they'll be glad you're happy. Just don't steal other people's boyfriends, or dogs. And no matter how much wedgies and swirlies might get your rocks off, find a better outlet... like... ear wax sculpting.
So here's to being selfish. Because if you're not just awesomely excited to share how awesome your life was when you're 107, what's the point to everything, right?
Be selfish.
Be awesome.
And... tell me what you wanna read next!! :)
THAT aside, "selfishness," is not a bad word. "BUT WENDI!" You may argue, "selfish people are bad people! Selfish people only care about themselves. Selfish people don't have anyone else in mind. Selfish people don't care! Selfish people, are mean, rude, and do everything they can to squash the little guy!" And to that argument, I say... Nope.
Guess what? I am one of the most absolute selfish people I know. Every thing I ever do, I do for me. I drink Dr Pepper when I want to. I am a Theatre major, because Theatre is what I want to do with my life. I don't live to please anyone but myself. Even this very blog. I don't write these for your entertainment! I write these because I want to share MY philosophy. I write these because I absolutely LOVE when people say, "Wendi! I read your blog! You are so insightful/awesome/funny/what have you."
"But Wendi! What about Zach? If you are a selfish creep, why does he stick around??" Zach sticks around because he likes my company. He likes what I have to say. He likes when I'm a doofus, and he thinks I'm pretty. Would he like all of those things if I were a "selfish creep?" Of course not! The other day, it was raining. I got out of class early, and I knew Zach needed to walk from the engineering building, to the theater. I borrowed Cassie's umbrella, walked in the rain to the engineering building, and I waited for him to get out of class, just so he could walk under an umbrella. Would anyone say that was a "selfish creep" thing to do? Of course not! But you know what? It was selfish. "HOW, WOMAN, HOW???" You may ask. Well, I did it for me. I wanted Zach to know that I would go out of my way to do something that nice for him. Why? Because it made ME feel like I was being an awesome girlfriend. That act made me feel good about myself. It was all for me!
The problem with the word "selfishness" is that is has a bad connotation. The denotations are not so positive either. The word means, "concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself." And all of its synonyms are negative too. These terms (selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, self-absorbed, etc.) teach us that doing things for ourselves is bad. But it isn't! The problem occurs when a person resorts to hurting other people for themselves. THAT is bad. THAT is being a creep. But I am selfish. And I don't like being associated with douchers that shit on other people to get what they want.
I hope I'm making sense. It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to do what you want for you. If you spend your entire life trying to make someone other than yourself happy, you will live to regret it. Don't let your parents' dreams for you get in the way of yours. Don't let your partner's happiness become more important than your happiness. If you have to let some people down, fine. If they really care about you, they'll be glad you're happy. Just don't steal other people's boyfriends, or dogs. And no matter how much wedgies and swirlies might get your rocks off, find a better outlet... like... ear wax sculpting.
So here's to being selfish. Because if you're not just awesomely excited to share how awesome your life was when you're 107, what's the point to everything, right?
Be selfish.
Be awesome.
And... tell me what you wanna read next!! :)
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
"I'm the nice guy, and all she wants to be is friends!! WAAAAAHH!"
Boys whine all the time about being "friend zoned." I see statuses about it, I see meme's about it. There are books and movies, songs, short stories, and poems about it. Awkward, nice boy, wants the hot girl, and is stuck being her friend because she doesn't have those feelings for him.
Here is my advice to you nice boys in the friend zone. Step one. Evaluate why she doesn't like you. You might be horribly ugly. Do you know what you should do if you're horribly ugly? Find a girl that is just as ugly as you are, and have ridiculously attractive children. (It happens!). She might think you're a little funny, but she doesn't always seem to get your sense of humor. You know why? Because you are probably a lot smarter than her. You need to go find yourself a girl that is as smart as you, and you can make weird jokes together. Maybe she has a douchebag boyfriend. MOVE ON. She's an idiot for letting herself stay with a douche bag. And if she doesn't have enough respect for herself to demand respect from her boyfriend, she isn't worth your time. Maybe your plans for life don't line up with hers. Maybe you are perfectly content with staying in your small town. And maybe she wants so so so much more. Or vice versa! If this is the case, you should evaluate what would make you happier: throwing away your plans for yourself for her, creating new plans with her, or sticking to your plans and finding someone along the way. But even still, if she has not explicately said, "I like you, but we want different things!" I wouldn't even worry about that one. Or MAYBE, for WHATEVER reason, you are not her type. This is something you must simply accept, and MOVE ON! Maybe you are insanely stupid. If this is the case, I don't think there is much I can do for you.
Not every girl likes douchebags. If you're harping for a girl who's harping for a tool, move on. Girls that love getting treated like crap are stupid girls. You don't want a stupid girl. Do ya? Smart girls are girls that have had a douchey boyfriend and told him to hit the road. Smart girls feel no pitty for girls that let themselves get treated like crap. Smart girls can get over your weird quirks to see what a nice guy you really are. You won't have to try so hard for a smart girl.
Do you want to know why the girl that's friend zoned you wants to stay friends? She's currently being treated like crap by the guy she likes, and loves the attention you give her. Or. She's super lonely, and loves the attention you give her. Or. She really really really needs to talk, and she knows you'll listen. She only likes being your friend because you shower her with the attention that girls love. However, this does not mean your friendship means absolutely nothing to her. Which is why sometimes, the girl might make an effort to keep you around. But still, it is in your better interest to move on.
Now. This isn't true of all male/female friendships. Guys and girls can be friends. In my theatre department, we are all forced to spend so much time together, that friendship is inevitable. (Not that it's a bad thing! I love my MSU family!) So of course, I have guy friends in the department, that I can confidently say, do not like me.
So, when you've been friends with a girl, and you finally get the balls to tell her you like her, and she says, "I'd really just rather be friends." you should not whine about it. Instead, You should put your efforts into a girl that is more like you. Whoever said opposites attract was talking about magnets. Are you a magnet? No. No you are not. A girl with a similar IQ, similar interests, and similar social skills are where you'll be better off.
Avoid over investing by telling the girl how you feel as soon as you know you like her as more than a friend. If she responds positively, AWESOME! If she wants to be friends, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. She's not going to come around.
Now I'm not trying to bash the girls that have put boys in the friend zone. I've done it! But I'm trying not to anymore. If one of your guy friends likes you, tell him you're not interested in him, and leave him alone. If he comes to you, tell him you don't think it's a good idea. Trust me, you'll be doing him a favor by hurting his feelings quick. Like a bandaid!
I Hope I was Helpful!
Thank you Anna Spivey, And Marcus Jones for the blog fodder. :)
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANNA READ???
Here is my advice to you nice boys in the friend zone. Step one. Evaluate why she doesn't like you. You might be horribly ugly. Do you know what you should do if you're horribly ugly? Find a girl that is just as ugly as you are, and have ridiculously attractive children. (It happens!). She might think you're a little funny, but she doesn't always seem to get your sense of humor. You know why? Because you are probably a lot smarter than her. You need to go find yourself a girl that is as smart as you, and you can make weird jokes together. Maybe she has a douchebag boyfriend. MOVE ON. She's an idiot for letting herself stay with a douche bag. And if she doesn't have enough respect for herself to demand respect from her boyfriend, she isn't worth your time. Maybe your plans for life don't line up with hers. Maybe you are perfectly content with staying in your small town. And maybe she wants so so so much more. Or vice versa! If this is the case, you should evaluate what would make you happier: throwing away your plans for yourself for her, creating new plans with her, or sticking to your plans and finding someone along the way. But even still, if she has not explicately said, "I like you, but we want different things!" I wouldn't even worry about that one. Or MAYBE, for WHATEVER reason, you are not her type. This is something you must simply accept, and MOVE ON! Maybe you are insanely stupid. If this is the case, I don't think there is much I can do for you.
Not every girl likes douchebags. If you're harping for a girl who's harping for a tool, move on. Girls that love getting treated like crap are stupid girls. You don't want a stupid girl. Do ya? Smart girls are girls that have had a douchey boyfriend and told him to hit the road. Smart girls feel no pitty for girls that let themselves get treated like crap. Smart girls can get over your weird quirks to see what a nice guy you really are. You won't have to try so hard for a smart girl.
Do you want to know why the girl that's friend zoned you wants to stay friends? She's currently being treated like crap by the guy she likes, and loves the attention you give her. Or. She's super lonely, and loves the attention you give her. Or. She really really really needs to talk, and she knows you'll listen. She only likes being your friend because you shower her with the attention that girls love. However, this does not mean your friendship means absolutely nothing to her. Which is why sometimes, the girl might make an effort to keep you around. But still, it is in your better interest to move on.
Now. This isn't true of all male/female friendships. Guys and girls can be friends. In my theatre department, we are all forced to spend so much time together, that friendship is inevitable. (Not that it's a bad thing! I love my MSU family!) So of course, I have guy friends in the department, that I can confidently say, do not like me.
So, when you've been friends with a girl, and you finally get the balls to tell her you like her, and she says, "I'd really just rather be friends." you should not whine about it. Instead, You should put your efforts into a girl that is more like you. Whoever said opposites attract was talking about magnets. Are you a magnet? No. No you are not. A girl with a similar IQ, similar interests, and similar social skills are where you'll be better off.
Avoid over investing by telling the girl how you feel as soon as you know you like her as more than a friend. If she responds positively, AWESOME! If she wants to be friends, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. She's not going to come around.
Now I'm not trying to bash the girls that have put boys in the friend zone. I've done it! But I'm trying not to anymore. If one of your guy friends likes you, tell him you're not interested in him, and leave him alone. If he comes to you, tell him you don't think it's a good idea. Trust me, you'll be doing him a favor by hurting his feelings quick. Like a bandaid!
I Hope I was Helpful!
Thank you Anna Spivey, And Marcus Jones for the blog fodder. :)
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANNA READ???
Thursday, March 1, 2012
If love is blind, how can there be love at first sight?
Ahhh what a question, indeed. One of my closest friends put that up as her status on Facebook and mentioned in a comment that she would like to see what I have to say about it. I started to write my response in a comment... but then I realized that I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY for this. So. Here I go.
How can there be love at first site if love is blind? Well. Love at first sight doesn't exist. And... love isn't blind. "But WEEEENDIIII," you argue, "those things are real!!" But alas, they are not.
Let me start with love at first sight. It can't happen. If it could, the thought of Ryan Reynolds would buckle my knees and send raging butterflies throughout my entire body. But it doesn't. I am just INSANELY attracted to him. You can be insanely attracted to a person, but you can't love someone without knowing them. That isn't romantic, that's creepy. If a boy came up to me and said, "I saw you from over there... and... well... I love you." I would probably say, "Um. That's nice... I have to go... be... ANYWHERE ELSE! Kbye!"
Love... it isn't blind. The whole "love is blind" phrase essentially boils down to, "love doesn't discriminate," am I right? But... love does discriminate. This goes directly to my last blog about love being conditional. If love didn't discriminate, I could be madly in love with my pink stuffed dragon. Although I am fond of my pink stuffed dragon, I don't want to marry it. For some people, love can discriminate different things. For the bisexual kid, love doesn't discriminate gender at all. For the gay boy and for the straight girl, love for them means another boy. I am straight. I can't love a woman in the same way I can love a man. Love discriminates for me in that way. I am a college student with a 3.7ish GPA. If a boy can't carry an intelligent conversation with me, I won't love him. That is love discrimination! Love isn't blind. You love someone based on how they meet your standards and expectations in a partner. That doesn't mean you can't love someone you didn't intend to. This doesn't mean your standards or expectations won't change. What this means is that when you love someone, you love them because of who they are.
I hope I answered my friend's question.
I hope I'm still captivating!
Sorry there were no bears or velociraptors this time.
Ask me something else! :)
(I'll keep it confidential if you want me to!)
How can there be love at first site if love is blind? Well. Love at first sight doesn't exist. And... love isn't blind. "But WEEEENDIIII," you argue, "those things are real!!" But alas, they are not.
Let me start with love at first sight. It can't happen. If it could, the thought of Ryan Reynolds would buckle my knees and send raging butterflies throughout my entire body. But it doesn't. I am just INSANELY attracted to him. You can be insanely attracted to a person, but you can't love someone without knowing them. That isn't romantic, that's creepy. If a boy came up to me and said, "I saw you from over there... and... well... I love you." I would probably say, "Um. That's nice... I have to go... be... ANYWHERE ELSE! Kbye!"
Love... it isn't blind. The whole "love is blind" phrase essentially boils down to, "love doesn't discriminate," am I right? But... love does discriminate. This goes directly to my last blog about love being conditional. If love didn't discriminate, I could be madly in love with my pink stuffed dragon. Although I am fond of my pink stuffed dragon, I don't want to marry it. For some people, love can discriminate different things. For the bisexual kid, love doesn't discriminate gender at all. For the gay boy and for the straight girl, love for them means another boy. I am straight. I can't love a woman in the same way I can love a man. Love discriminates for me in that way. I am a college student with a 3.7ish GPA. If a boy can't carry an intelligent conversation with me, I won't love him. That is love discrimination! Love isn't blind. You love someone based on how they meet your standards and expectations in a partner. That doesn't mean you can't love someone you didn't intend to. This doesn't mean your standards or expectations won't change. What this means is that when you love someone, you love them because of who they are.
I hope I answered my friend's question.
I hope I'm still captivating!
Sorry there were no bears or velociraptors this time.
Ask me something else! :)
(I'll keep it confidential if you want me to!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)