Boys whine all the time about being "friend zoned." I see statuses about it, I see meme's about it. There are books and movies, songs, short stories, and poems about it. Awkward, nice boy, wants the hot girl, and is stuck being her friend because she doesn't have those feelings for him.
Here is my advice to you nice boys in the friend zone. Step one. Evaluate why she doesn't like you. You might be horribly ugly. Do you know what you should do if you're horribly ugly? Find a girl that is just as ugly as you are, and have ridiculously attractive children. (It happens!). She might think you're a little funny, but she doesn't always seem to get your sense of humor. You know why? Because you are probably a lot smarter than her. You need to go find yourself a girl that is as smart as you, and you can make weird jokes together. Maybe she has a douchebag boyfriend. MOVE ON. She's an idiot for letting herself stay with a douche bag. And if she doesn't have enough respect for herself to demand respect from her boyfriend, she isn't worth your time. Maybe your plans for life don't line up with hers. Maybe you are perfectly content with staying in your small town. And maybe she wants so so so much more. Or vice versa! If this is the case, you should evaluate what would make you happier: throwing away your plans for yourself for her, creating new plans with her, or sticking to your plans and finding someone along the way. But even still, if she has not explicately said, "I like you, but we want different things!" I wouldn't even worry about that one. Or MAYBE, for WHATEVER reason, you are not her type. This is something you must simply accept, and MOVE ON! Maybe you are insanely stupid. If this is the case, I don't think there is much I can do for you.
Not every girl likes douchebags. If you're harping for a girl who's harping for a tool, move on. Girls that love getting treated like crap are stupid girls. You don't want a stupid girl. Do ya? Smart girls are girls that have had a douchey boyfriend and told him to hit the road. Smart girls feel no pitty for girls that let themselves get treated like crap. Smart girls can get over your weird quirks to see what a nice guy you really are. You won't have to try so hard for a smart girl.
Do you want to know why the girl that's friend zoned you wants to stay friends? She's currently being treated like crap by the guy she likes, and loves the attention you give her. Or. She's super lonely, and loves the attention you give her. Or. She really really really needs to talk, and she knows you'll listen. She only likes being your friend because you shower her with the attention that girls love. However, this does not mean your friendship means absolutely nothing to her. Which is why sometimes, the girl might make an effort to keep you around. But still, it is in your better interest to move on.
Now. This isn't true of all male/female friendships. Guys and girls can be friends. In my theatre department, we are all forced to spend so much time together, that friendship is inevitable. (Not that it's a bad thing! I love my MSU family!) So of course, I have guy friends in the department, that I can confidently say, do not like me.
So, when you've been friends with a girl, and you finally get the balls to tell her you like her, and she says, "I'd really just rather be friends." you should not whine about it. Instead, You should put your efforts into a girl that is more like you. Whoever said opposites attract was talking about magnets. Are you a magnet? No. No you are not. A girl with a similar IQ, similar interests, and similar social skills are where you'll be better off.
Avoid over investing by telling the girl how you feel as soon as you know you like her as more than a friend. If she responds positively, AWESOME! If she wants to be friends, MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. She's not going to come around.
Now I'm not trying to bash the girls that have put boys in the friend zone. I've done it! But I'm trying not to anymore. If one of your guy friends likes you, tell him you're not interested in him, and leave him alone. If he comes to you, tell him you don't think it's a good idea. Trust me, you'll be doing him a favor by hurting his feelings quick. Like a bandaid!
I Hope I was Helpful!
Thank you Anna Spivey, And Marcus Jones for the blog fodder. :)
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